I Get to Wear the Mommy Hat

Sometimes Little Dude let’s me wear the firefighter hat, or the police hat, sometimes it was a princess crown, or sometimes it was the construction worker’s hat or the chef’s hat. But the hat, I am luckiest of all hats in this world to wear, is the Mommy Hat! My Little Dude, my partner in crime, my best friend, my love, my proudest accomplishment, and my most rewarding job. He let’s me wear all those hats… and the Mommy Hat.

I am lucky enough to wear the Mommy Hat and my husband is lucky enough to wear the Daddy Hat. I think we are pretty awesome. Little Dude, surely did not come with an instruction manual, and half of the time, we were trying to figure out, what in the world to do, as he grew, and as he, continues to grow and get older.

As his mommy, I have planted the seeds to love, nurture, and protect him. And I have cared for my baby ever step of the way. As a baby, he was so needy, and as he has grown up a little bit, he wants to become more independent and do more for himself. And that’s where the power struggles begin. I want to let him be more independent, and have more freedom. But, I also want to keep him safe from danger and keep him sweet and innocent.

It is a delicate balancing act and many times, I find myself toying with the idea of putting him in a bubble to keep him safe and sheltered. As much as I want to protect my sweet and innocent “Little Dude” from the hurt of the world, the rejections he would face in life, and the broken hearts he would have, as he grows and experiences life, I cannot.

He will cry, he will fall, and he will get hurt. And I cannot take the pain he will feel or the hurt feelings he will have away. As his mommy, I have to be there, always behind him every step of the way, through the tough times, good times, and times; I just wanted to do it for him and cannot. Or the times he is acting stupid, and I want to smack him out of it. I cannot make all the decision in his life. I have to let him rise and I have to let him fall. And then I get to be there behind him ever step of the way with an extra- large catcher’s mitt on to pick him up, love him, build him back up with confidence, and then, let him go again.

I have to keep reminding myself, what was the most important part of this hat, The Mommy Hat? It was not to hold him back. It was to be my Little Dude’s partner on this journey through life. Just like a baseball and a mitt. A baseball goes hand- and- hand with a mitt. I go hand- and- hand with my Little Dude. The baseball fits inside of the mitt, it has room to move freely about. It is not attached and it can be separated. I am the mitt and he is the ball. And sometimes, I just wanted to hold him and never let him go and protect him forever and ever.

But then reality sets in, and I realize that I cannot protect him forever. He needs to learn some of life’s precious moments on his own. The most important job of the Mommy Hat, is to be his mommy and his partner on this journey. Not his hinder. It is his journey. And it is my journey to teach him, help him on his journey, and make me proud to be his mommy.