To the Nasty Gentleman

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To the nasty gentleman at the pizza place!

Yeah you! The one who was a complete nasty to my kid.

“Yes you”! When my kid was simple just trying to get your attention by saying “yoohoo”! It’s a cute word he just learned and he thinks it’s funny to peek from behind something and say “yoohoo” and smile. He learned from these other kids that were sitting next to us in this very pizza place. I’m sorry if his little “yoohoo” offended you.

However, he is three and YES! And I’m having one of those days. The exact one you are thinking in your head and looking at me with that pity look.

“Yes”, I know and my husband is out of town yet again. I pity me too. And I’m not perfect and maybe you and your wife, if you have one, do it better. But, I’m doing the best I can.

“Yes”. He is whining and not listening to me at the moment. And he will have a consequence for that. I know my child and I know he is starving. And he is acting this way because our food is not coming fast enough in this fast pizza by the slice place. I was here early and I gave him a snack on the way. I was obviously trying to avoid the whines. However, kids are kids and they whine, and at times choose not to listen. They are not perfect but who is?

I’m not a bad parent and I’m human. I appreciate the fact that you are taking pity, and shaking your head at me, however, save it for yourself. He was not disturbing anyone and you didn’t have to stare at us.

Thanks for letting me know that; “he just stuck his tongue out at me when I asked him to sit on his bottom”. I was ignoring him and I’m just fine. And it is his tongue for peat sakes.

I’m not sure why you thought it was okay to interrupt my lunch, to tell me that, “if he were your kid, you would spank him, right then and there”. He is not your kid he’s mine. And in your eyes our lunch was an epic failure. However, if you stuck around you would have saw his behavior totally changed as soon as he got a few bites of food into him. And yes, he turned his behavior around. I’m proud of that.

What you also didn’t see, was that he wasn’t able to earn his dessert and didn’t get to walk on the curb due to his behavior at the start of our lunch. And “yes” he was upset. He could have thrown a full- blown tantrum because he lost his rewards. But he didn’t, because he has learned that there are consequences for his actions, a small success on this parenting road. A valuable lesson that even some adults don’t even know. Instead of “yelling or giving him a spanking”, I choose to, and will continue to, teach him that for every action there is a reaction. Sometimes they are good and what we want and sometimes they are not.

He’s obviously not perfect and either am I but he is learning. And just like riding a bike, sometime you fall, but you get back up. I’m not sure what “spanking” would have taught him or “yelling at him” would have done? Probably make me look like a “terrible”, “crazy parent”, but I already looked that way, to you. But sir, believe me. My grace, my cool, and my heart were all breaking in that moment, not for my child, but for yours. I can handle my child and maybe it’s time you learned a lesson from yours.

Advice

Humor

Comments (31)

  2. The nerve of him to say that! I came close to going off on an old lady who kept looking at myself and my girls with utter contempt while at a Pizza Hut for the buffet. Her judgment was clear with every look and shake of her head. My girls were well behaved that day except for the one moment when I got up to get my girls more pizza and my oldest yelled across the restaurant at me. She, like your son, is 3. Some people make you want to scream!

  3. UNBELIEVABLE!!! Who does he think he IS? I am just horrified at all he did and said, Sarah. I am SO sorry that someone had to burden your day even more- bless your heart!!!

  4. I hate when people judge without stopping to learn about and understand the problem. Especially when it would have been so easy to do something constructive to ease the situation. I don’t expect others to parent my children, but sometimes I think well either help out or at least step aside and don’t hinder! I have enough toddlers to deal with without strangers acting like three year olds around me.

  7. No matter what you do, there will always be someone to criticize huh? One of the aspects of parenting that still baffles me every time it happens. I guess they think they are “helping” but I hope to one day be the old lady that really DOES help in those kind of situations instead of telling the parent they are doing it wrong.

  8. I have three boys–one who has ADHD, one who has ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome, and a rambunctious 4 year old. We don’t go out very often, but when we do, I’ve gotten some pretty dirty looks in the past. I don’t know which is worse–the people who don’t have kids and have NO idea what it’s like, or the ones who have grown kids and have forgotten what it’s like to have little ones running around. Sounds like the guy at the pizza place needs to chill a bit. It’s especially bad since you were at a PIZZA place. If he wanted peace and quiet with no family/kids, he should have carted his butt out to Ruths Chris or a more upscale place that doesn’t really cater to families! That being said, I’m very tolerant of other people kids in restaurants–I actually play peekaboo with younger kids who are in the booth behind us or whatever, but the one thing that I can NOT tolerate are the parents who let their kids actually leave the table and run around the restaurant. I just will never understand that one.

  9. I found your blog through Blogitudes, Feature Friday. I’m loving your blog!
    I just wanted to say that you sound like a great parent. This man just caught you at in a bad moment. I know how that is because, my husband becomes an angry beast when he’s hungry and then completely changes afterward. Though, that gave him NO EXCUSE to tell you what “he would have done if that was his child.” Right then and there I would have gave him a piece of my mind, which would have probably gotten me removed from the restaurant. He would THEN know what a “crazy parent” looks and sounds like. Kudos to you for keeping the situation calm.

  11. He is so lucky you wrote him a letter. I would have let the air out of his tires and watched his temper tantrum from afar when he came out. Kidding. Not. Maybe kidding. #DontMessWithMeOrMyKids

    1. Yes! I was ready to go all psycho on him but I didn’t want to do that in front of my kid. I just told him that, “I’m sorry you feels that way” and turned away. He didn’t deserve my time! Thanks for stopping by Abbie! See you at ERMA! Can’t wait 2 more weeks left!

  13. at my blog we talk about personality types a lot, and we have fun and it’s a very insightful tool.
    Having said that, (to borrow from an old joke), in the case of the person in your story, some people are just assholes.*

    *(my first comment at your blog, if the language exceeds local standards feel free to edit/delete…just that this is what my gut reaction is to people like you are describing)

  14. Oh no he didn’t. This is why I should just stay home. Or better yet, take me with you when you go anywhere. Or maybe not. You’d have to bail me out, a lot. I have a thing with kids. I am ferociously protective of them, and their parents who are trying their best to parent a child who’s ego is the size of a house because, that’s all they know when they’re 3.

    Just a few weeks ago, there was a woman with twins – maybe 2 years old, maybe even 3 and it was tough. She was at mass for Ash Wednesday (think longer than usual). They were crying, laughing, farting, babbling, and being otherwise totally normal. And she carried those two babies to get ashes. After mass, I went up to her and told her she was the best mom ever and deserved a box o’wine on me (I can’t part with my Frangelico or RUM).

    You’re an awesome mom…screw that guy. Or wait. Pray for him. I’m Catholic – I should know better!
    Cristina

  15. I can’t believe that man had the audacity to tell you how to parent. And yes, I have been guilty of judging the parenting of others, but now, having 5 small people of my own, I realize that at any given time, I am only seeing a glimpse of what is going on for both the parent and the child in any circumstance. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job parenting! 🙂

  16. I love this! It is so easy to judge when all you see is such a brief moment. I get cranky when I am hungry too, so it is no surprise that my kids get wound up when they are hungry. It sounds like you handled this situation well.

    1. Hi Dawn! Thanks for stopping by! And thanks for your feedback. I’m not sure why people feel the need to tell you what to do when they don’t know me or the situation. They just need to MYOB! Have a great week!

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